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1. Selective Bible Quoting – “Judge not” is conveniently forgotten when it’s time to critique someone’s outfit, but suddenly, “Only God can judge” when it’s their turn in the hot seat.
2. Judging While Screaming ‘Only God Can Judge’ – Because accountability is only for other people.
3. Mega-Church Capitalism – Jesus flipped tables in the temple, but today’s pastors flip real estate investments, luxury jets, and designer suits—all tax-free.
4. Prosperity Gospel Hustling – The offering plate never misses a Sunday, but oddly, the pastor is the only one seeing miraculous financial increase while lying on tax returns.
5. Rebranding Pagan Holidays – Christmas trees, wedding rings, and Easter eggs—100% pagan in origin, but add a Bible verse and voilà: Christian tradition.
6. Sex Outside Wedlock (Cohabiting) – Ironically, this is not a problem until it’s the lgbtqia+ community’s turn. Cognitive dissonance galore.
7. Spiritual Bypassing – Instead of therapy: “Pray it away.” Instead of action: “God will provide.” Instead of justice: “Let go and let God.” Meanwhile, problems stay very much present.
8. Heavenly Bureaucracy – Somehow, some Christians have a VIP guest list for heaven and a blacklist for hell. Even St. Peter is confused.
9. Denying Climate Change While Enjoying the Weather – “God controls the weather!”—except when it ruins their barbecue.
10. Speaking ‘Christianese’ – They don’t just talk; they “declare and decree.” It’s not a struggle—it’s “spiritual warfare.”
11. Homophobia (While Ignoring Gluttony and Greed) – LGBT topics? Whole sermons. Greed and overindulgence? Crickets.
12. Colonial Christianity – Jesus’ message of love got rewritten as “Convert or die.” Historical irony at its finest.
13. White Jesus – A Middle Eastern man somehow became a blue-eyed model with Hollywood abs. Even made a graven image (idolatry) out of him and his mother to bow and pray to, and through. Make it make sense.
14. Biblical Cherry-Picking – Shellfish, tattoos, mixed fabrics—all against Old Testament law. But only one of those gets entire conferences and political debates.
15. Christian Nationalism – The Prince of Peace somehow became a mascot for wars, policies, and border walls.
16. Idolizing Pastors Like Pop Stars – “No idols!”—yet their pastor’s face is on billboards, T-shirts, and limited edition prayer cloths.
17. Prosperity Over Poverty – Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor,” but modern theology says, “You’re just not sowing enough seeds.”
18. Fake Humility – “I’m just a humble servant”—but don’t forget their full title: Apostle, Prophet, Reverend, Bishop, Doctor, Esquire.
19. Performative Piety – Loud prayers in public, but silent when injustice needs confronting.
20. Weaponizing Religion – “Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship”—yet somehow, it’s used to control laws, bodies, and entire nations.
Moral of the story? If we’re going to call out sins, let’s be consistent. Otherwise, love thy neighbor and mind your own spiritual business.
Aremuorin is a multi-award-winning art artist, writer, and humanitarian, known for his unique fusion of music, writing, and advocacy. With a focus on empowerment and social justice, his work aims to inspire, educate, and uplift communities worldwide. Aremuorin has been honored with numerous accolades, including awards in the UK, USA, and Africa, and holds two honorary doctorate degrees for his contributions to both the arts and humanitarian work. His artistry goes beyond entertainment, as he uses his platform to bring attention to issues of mental health, social change, and cultural pride.
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