Teuta Avdyli: Born to stand out not to fit #in ..’ – In14Ways #TuetaAvdyli #MercyfulGrace #PGEUK2019Posted: November 22, 2019
Interview by Anthony Everest
1.Welcome back: Nice to hear from you again. What’s your name and where are you from?
My name is Teuta Avdyli. I am the author of the book “BORN TO STAND OUT NOT TO FIT IN”, an international public speaker, empowerment, positive parenting and spirituality coach. I am married and a passionate mother of two beautiful children.
2. What’s the story behind your book
To empower women on how to overcome and become unbreakable in the times of hardships, tribulation, adversities. No matter what life throws at you have to become a quick learner, smash your own spiders (problems} and carry on with your day. There will be times you will fail, there will be times that you will succeed but they are both very important at stepping stones to get to the other side.
That’s why I would like to say that NEVER GIVE UP!! Owing to that, learn to enjoy every moment of every day despite what life presents. The more we practice, the better we will be at enjoying the moment. Focusing on solutions keeps our thoughts in the moment, and what we can accomplish in the NOW!
I overcome various obstacles in my life.
I am a survivor of a major lorry accident that rode over my poor legs 3 times.
I am blessed because I was given a second change to live and I want to do things differently this time. I am on the mission to establish my vision.
No waisting time, But the thing is you don’t know if you have a second change?
You don’t need to go through what I went through, to appreciate life and do the right things. I have been in the wilderness and came out of it and I learned wealth a lot.
Panache Award Recipient – Teuta Avdyli – MercyfulGrce Blog
Many times, I shared my story with others and inspired them in many ways. I knew that my story talks and needs to be heard but I didn’t have a platform where to share to.
I wanted to go beyond that, and I came to a point that I said to myself, ok now, now it’s the time to share my knowledge with others.
It’s not about me anymore it’s about helping others not only one to one but one to many or millions. I know someone needs to hear my story, someone needs my help, not only information but direction!
3. Have you changed from the experience?
Definitely. These experiences have shaped, molded me who I have become today. Beneath every strong, independent woman lies, a broken little girl who had to learn how to get back up.
Overtime she has fallen and risen up even stronger because she is a survivor and not a victim. I am in control of my life and there is nothing I can’t achieve.
The knowledge is nothing compared to the vastness of what I’ve learnt through these experiences and I learned to never depend on anyone. Those experiences have shaped me to who I am today.
Each of the experience has been unique. I can say that I know what it is to fight. No matter how hard the situation, I knew that God was with me, He never left me, never forsaken me.
You’re here because you made it. We are survivors in one or other ways. We go through hardships, tribulation, adversity but no matter what, keep pushing through. It will pass because they are temporary and what remains is your greatness!
In this manner, we polish ourselves. We go through trials, and the ideas that don’t work are eliminated and better ones are created or found. With each learning experience, we become better, and we approach perfection. So, embrace life, including the lows, because they help us to better appreciate the highs. We are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water and receive the flower and our see true colors.
I strongly believe that God opened a different door for me, unlocked my full potential that I ALWAYS believed since I was a young girl, I visualized myself talking in front of many people. Now I know why I am here. What’s my Identity? What’s my life purpose? Knowing that its priceless and worthy any pain. In pain I found my life purpose, in my struggles, I learnt how to overcome, in my bitterness I found my betterment.
Now I want to help others to find their life purpose. Helping people to find their purpose in life, is that you’re not changing one aspect of their life. You’re changing all aspects of their life. Image. Someone that didn’t have purpose.
How much happier they will be, how much productive, how much happier their family will be?
Its truly a priceless situation. My scar is big and not pleasant to look at it but… I love it every time I see it because my scar tells a story, my testimony it reminds me my defining moments, my turning point in my life.
Definitely when you overcome hard times you’re not on the same level anymore for sure! You change, mature, grow become wiser and more knowledgeable and unsinkable soul! Your heart becomes soft and you have compassion for the broken ones.
4. What is the hope you will like to give folks through your book.
What makes life message is:
If something goes wrong, here is my advice ….And that is for every one of you who is going through tough times, whatever that may be, and it doesn’t have to be physical, if you are overwhelmed with life, exhausted, depressed, lost or maybe people are against you, you feel that there seems to be no way out, it could be a family problem, going through divorce, family loss, or maybe you think that your problem is too big, I can’t take it anymore and you want to end your life, whatever it is:
I been there physically, emotional pain. I felt the pain. But don’t ever give up. ITS TEMPORARY IT WILL PASS!
If you can’t run, walk
If you can’t walk, crawl.
If you can’t crawl push through, there is way out, no matter the problem, If I did it you can too, if it’s done before it can be done again.
This is the reason why I have put together in a form of a book to help people to learn and live a happy and fulfilled life. The book is full Inspiring, empowering stories Of A Great Survivor, no matter what, if you have faith, you can overcome pretty much anything in life.
Many times, in life, when people tell you that you can’t do something you have to become an even bigger fighter, run away from these negative people, because the sky is your limit.
It’s not where you start from, it’s where you finish. No matter the weather brings your own sunshine. “If you don’t risk anything, you risk everything”.
Strength comes in the ability to get back up after we’ve been knocked down. Harder to do, than say, sometimes!
You can rewrite to own your story. You can bring back your power.
Focus on solutions rather than situations. When we focus on our problems, we give them strength and feed their growth. When we focus on problems, our problems take us where they want us to go. Generally, this is a place of despair, depression, uncertainty, and dead ends. When we follow our problems, we tend to see our glass as half empty, instead a glass that is half full.
A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a man be perfected without trials. Feel the pain and once you’re done and healed, go forward and make this as your inspiration and motivation. The power to change and take responsibility to do something different.
Making sure that everything you do—What you say, how you show up, how you act, is a reflection of who you are, congruent with your character and spirit across every situation.
Great things can happen when you set yourself up to be noticed in the right way. Practice these tips and you’ll not only stand out in the crowd but probably travel far beyond it.
It’s not where you start from, it’s where you finish. No matter the weather brings your own sunshine. “If you don’t risk anything, you risk everything”
Not every storm are bad, they may be painful but you become unbreakable and knowledgeable how to sort out a situation in the future. When you take risks, you will learn that there will be times when you fail, there will be times when you succeed, but they are both equally important. Failure is part of the process to succeed, and it’s the necessary stepping stone to achieving your dreams.
They are not about to reveal our weakness but found many strong qualities about yourself.
Strength comes in the ability to get back up after we’ve been knocked down, harder to do than say sometimes!
You can rewrite to own story. You can bring back your power.
In my own case I could complain and be mourning, as I used to be a very active and independent women. After the accident it was a complete shock, a life changing experience but instead I was very grateful.
No resentment against God or anyone. Why me. What is this and that, but instead I said, “God Thank you that I am above the ground and not underneath”.
Live life to the fullest, live the moment, enjoy the power of the present because everything else is uncertain!
We are about human love. Love others, keep smiling, live your life intentionally!
Just this way we can progress, helping and holding each other’s hands and be the best version of yourselves.
Being yourself, celebrating the unique and realness of you, and sharing that uniqueness for the betterment and encouragement of everyone around you. You just stay you as you are, you are amazing, worthy, special, you’re a master peace.
You are born to live a life as the unique individual that you are, as the flamingo in the flog of pigeons, because there is only one of you on this entire planet of 7+ billion and that’s already incredible!
5. The worst thing that happened to you through this ordeal.
There are many but I can recall some pivotal moments that are embedded in my mind. When I experienced the trauma of the track going over my legs and I looked the state of my leg, blood gushing all over the place. I knew that something was extremely wrong. Pure terror!
In that moment I didn’t know for sure, if I would live or die. A complete acceptance of death. When was flung into the deep water, when I came in UK. Fear nearly consumed me. The first thought that came to mind was this, my end had come.
6. What did this pain feel like.
When I went through the excruciation unbearable pain of the truck accident.
I was screaming exceedingly with a bitter cry for help. The sense of loneliness, feeling powerless, undignified, perplexed; that was the scariest feeling, and place to be. It makes my spine shiver when I think of that moment.
Also, when I was in hospital and the doctor didn’t give me hope of if I would ever walk again – was scary.
My children, my family went through difficult times too. I was worried for them.
7. Where did your survival instinct erupt from.
I CREDIT my Ability to move forward in life…and overcome all my adversities to my dedication to spirituality and me believing in the “Word of God”. Without being spiritually strong, I don’t think I would have come so far. I don’t think I could have made it, for sure.
Having a strong spiritual outlook helps you find meaning in life’s difficult circumstances.
For example, in my own experience before whatever I was doing, I was doing on my own strength, and my ability but I wasn’t happy or fulfilled. I was worried for everything. The burden was heavy.
Today is different. I have peace, joy, patience, love, compassion. I don’t worry. It’s not that you will not have problems, but you are able to overcome, and the burden is lighter. What a big difference!
I can tell you that when I was knocked down on the ground, you don’t think of anything else.
No family, no money, nothing just eternity becomes so important and I know God saved me for a reason.
How can you not believe a moment like that? You can’t argue for a miracle. For example, I remember when I felt that I was leaving.
A complete acceptance of death. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and in that moment
Suddenly, this inner powerful voice inside me intercepted my thought process.
“No this is not your end yet”, and suddenly I seemed to have got back my will to survive.
From then, a voice even more powerful said to me ‘You will live to do even more greater things in the world’. Everything happening was like a film and now that prophesy given to me whilst in that defining moment, coming true, as I am living to tell my story and inspire the world by compiling my ordeal, I know this is just the beginning of greater things to come.
If I could capture that feeling and sell it, I’d be a multi billionaire.
But … I can’t. I don’t have the capacity to describe it, none of us has. I never knew up to that moment how priceless the air you breathe was and how precious life was!
We are foolish. We take life for granted. That moment will stay with me forever for as long as I breath.
8. Do you think you’ve done enough to inspire.
No, ultimately, my deepest and greatest desire is to impact and inspire people around the world that is the greatest contribution to the society, family, and the work of God.
I want to be a role model for my children and live a legacy beyond. To be led by example showing others if you can do it, others can if it’s done before it can be done again.
Knowing that you’re being of use, for a good cause, that matters to me.
That’s when my personality serves my soul, that’s my authentic power, that priceless! I feel happy that God has opened a new door for me, unlocked my full potential that I always believed since I was a young girl.
I am living to tell my story and inspire the world by compiling my ordeal in the form of a book and becoming an author, in empowering, positive parenting and spirituality. I really believe God fueled me with a great meaning and purpose.
To be a life-changing advocacy to help others rise above their painful experiences, creating a positive change and inspiring others.
9. What is love to you.
Great question “What is love to you?” We are not referring to the feel feeling in love with someone.
This question made me think about my passion and purpose. I want to share it with you today because I believe this is a question that applies to all of us. And, I also believe that the answer lies deep within each one of us.
I think before you can even answer that question, you must first acknowledge that what is love. I got 3 verses from the bible, that explains very well the meaning of love.
Love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs.’ 1 Corinthians 13.5.
‘If you love only the people who love you, why should you receive a blessing? Even sinners love those who love them!’ Luke 6.32.
Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.’ 1 Corinthians 13.13
Keep Loving, keep smiling, live intentionally. You can serve with compassion. You’re in a mission and our mission is to be the best version ourselves. Remove all the sense of entitlement and stay low where the waters came from
I believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard and believe you can.
10. What are your future goals and plans.
Yes, as well as creating a mastery program in empowering women to become unstoppable in the face of the adversary, I also I am creating a blueprint for positive parenting tribes, because I want to enhance the love, that bound between parents and children. They are the generation. We must fight for them. I think there is a lot to contribute in parenting topics.
I will continue to write books
I will help others.
I will teach what I know and make a dent on the universe.
11. How can we be peaceful.
The most and very powerful kind of peace is being in peace with yourself both an outward and an inward state of being and acting. If you are trying to be more peaceful, you must begin by finding peace within yourself. Further your peaceful nature by bringing it into your interactions with others and making your environment peaceful. Find your inner -peace and accomplishing your confidence.
Allow and accept change. Change is often difficult to accept and can be very stressful. The difficulty here is that change is constantly occurring, and that by being resistant to it, you will just be causing yourself unnecessary stress. Accept change by realizing you and your life are always growing and changing. Accept change as a learning process to a better life.
Let go of fear. A great deal of the time we are resistant to change due to a fear of the unknown. Letting go of that fear allows you to accept change.
12. Why do people hurt.
In my opinion, most people hurt others because deep inside they are not happy with themselves or there’s something that’s bugging them.
People, by their nature, do things that are painful to others. You have to LEARN the tools to overcome the inner desire to be cruel and mean to others.
Therefore, people who do not have any self-control will get involved with the activities of justifying their US while degrading the THEM.
As time goes on, we can only hope that they learn that way of thinking is hurtful, and they begin to learn some empathy for the THEM in the world.
It freed me from such world of bondage to the garbage that comes from ignorance about people as a whole.
Unfortunately, there are many things that people are hurt in this world with so many problems, violence, teenage crime, early pregnancy, depression, worries, poverty, insecurities, global worming ect the list is almost endless. How divided we are.
· How mean we are to one another.
· How critical we are of one another.
· How judgmental we are of each other and how angry we are at each other.
· How lonely we all seem to be.
· This space is a big open field filled with dreamers and explorers. It’s filled with teachers and doctors, with mothers and fathers, and with the young and the old.
· We are more alike than we are different.
Yet, we are all longing for the same things. We are all longing to be accepted, to be seen and understood, and to be invited into the space that unites us.
Fortunately, for me Christianity showed me the way out of that way of thinking.
The gift. I finally began to learn why everyone is so different. And why some people are cruel, nice, or indifferent. That provided me an opportunity to see the world from an objective perspective so that I can learn what are the truths about people.
13. Is there hope for love.
Many of us have had times in our lives where we feel alone, ugly and unlovable. But there is a person who is totally in love with you, right now. God created the earth, the heavens and everything we see, including you, no matter what you do, God will never stop loving you.
But there is a problem. Sadly, we live a life separated from the great love of God because of something called sin.
When you do something to hurt a friend, it damages your relationship. Sin is like this. We all sin when we ignore God, disobey him, mock him and hurt him. Sin can damage our relationships with friends and family, as well as stopping us from living a life in God’s presence.
So, what’s the solution? Thankfully there is a way that we can break the barrier that sin creates between us and God’s love.
The solution is the greatest act of love anyone will ever do for you. To die for you. We need to understand that sin leads to death. But God loves us so much that he sent Jesus to die for all our sins, so we can have eternal life.
But now we have a choice…A decision. The perfect chance to restart your life, with all your mistakes wiped away.
All you must do is accept that you have sinned, ask God to forgive you and decide to live your life in real relationship with God. So now is that time to decide. What is your choice?
14. Is life where you want to be?
Evaluating our own personal level of success can be an intimidating task. We all have different versions of what success looks like and it doesn’t necessarily look the same as the person next to us.
Sometimes, we measure success in comparison to the success of our friends and family.
And other times, we are even quick to judge those around us based on where they are in their own life. Instead of comparing based on others’ version of success, what we should really be doing is looking our inward self.
I have pictured and asked myself what I want for my life to look like and have take the time to think about what I should be doing to get to where I want to be.
The reason why it’s important to ask yourself these questions is because these are some of the things that affect our overall level of happiness in life.
These are some of the things that guide the decisions that we make on our daily basis. These are things that we value and the things that are our driving forces.
But just like coming to terms with struggles, hardships, or mistake, or an addiction, or fear, the first thing that we must do is admit that it’s there and ask for help.
Then, we can tackle it head-on. We can’t solve a problem if we don’t know what the problem is. So, take time to think about it. Once you’ve done that, you can start to navigate your way towards finding a solution. Have you identified the things that are holding you back from becoming who you want to be?
I live you today with these quotes: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined” — Henry David Thoreau. “Refuse to die unlived life” “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears”- Les Brown
14a. Say a prayer for humanity and us.
My prayer for people today is be humble before God, turn to and acknowledge His ways, have a relationship with the Creator.
Without him you are like fish without waters, you are limited, no matter what. He is a good Father.:
Forgive and let go any grudges, resements because it’s like as Nelson Mandela said: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison for your own body and waiting for the other person to die”. Its not worthy, is it?
And to for WORLDWIDE use this link https://tinyurl.com/r4adpw7
Àrèmúorin – Anthony Everest is a Multi Awardee Conscious Writer / Holistic Jazz Soul Singer-Songwriter, Author, Producer. No1, 49+ Weeks, Jazz Charts. (C) 2019 MercyfulGrace / Anthony Everest